And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
