How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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