I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
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