I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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