just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
