Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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