Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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