took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
