and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
