just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
