found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
