So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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