ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
