Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
