can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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