Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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