i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
this is an emotional support booty call
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
