3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
