hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'm having to shit out rocks
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