Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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