Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize