I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
