i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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