I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
