I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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