Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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