Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
