He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
