Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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