do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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