My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
