Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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