Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
