umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
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I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
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She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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