Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
worst night to have a conscience
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
