i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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