ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
