Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
