I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
