hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
