I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
