Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
