I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
