I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
