You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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