dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
