I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
