I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
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She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
third nipple confirmed
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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