so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
