Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize