I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
