I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We had sex on a dog bed..
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
