I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
