I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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