Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I cut my penus on the lid.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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