That's intense
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
