rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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