Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
wanna go halves on a baby?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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