there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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