i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
