He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
